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Monday, 12 August 2013

Looking for love in all the wrong places...

It's been too long between posts, I know. I've missed it, I've missed you and I'm sorry.
For those of you wondering why; well, I've been through a rough patch so I took some time to get real, get clear, and reset my compass. To take a really close look at myself and determine who I am, how I've been shaped, when and why I've conformed. To establish who and what is important, what drives me, what makes me crazy...just to be.
You see, much has changed for me in the past 12 months. Life seemingly spiralling out of control and playing out like a reality TV show with challenges, eliminations and lots of strategy to stay in the game. Oh, the pressure! It was exhausting and a real test. 
I'd NEVER survive Masterchef!
So after loads of time and energy spent squirrelling away to determine the cause of all this angst, you know what I discovered? Ultimately, the sole reason I lost my way came down to one shameful and shocking truth; I gave up on love. Loving myself, love for others, love for my passions, others loving me. The whole darn kit n' caboodle!
Gee whizz, typing these words makes my eyes well up with tears and my chest tighten up a little. I mean, love is at the core of everything I believe in, everything I stand for.
How did this happen?
Sure, I continued to embrace my truth and remained honest and kind at every juncture, yet couldn't understand why things weren't "going my way" or why I'd be dealing with all kinds of confrontation and altercations. You see, without the love, everything crumbled like a poorly built Croquembouche. I told you - I'd never go all the way on Masterchef.
It's interesting how easy it is to get lost in the past or obsess about the future and this experience has absolutely confirmed to me that all we need to be acutely aware of is the here and now while focusing on self love, for it will lead the way to vulnerability, truth, self expression and peace.
You heard it here first people - self love is the absolute foundation of a life well lived.
Ah-ha...It's all so clear now! Perhaps Masterchef isn't my game after all. With all this talk about foundations, it seems I'm better suited to The Block...
Loving you, loving me (and I really mean it)...TLT x

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