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Tuesday, 27 December 2011

Mirror Image

I love a little word play.

The fact that there is apparently no word (although I continue to search) in the English language that rhymes with orange, the thing about being able to read a sentence regardless of the spelling of the words within it being jumbled as long as the first and last letter of each word is correct. It lights my fire.

So you can imagine my delight to discover the word 'Racecar' spelled backward is 'Racecar'. Furthermore, I discovered that this and other words (yes, there are others!) that read the same in both directions are referred to as 'Palindromes'.

And there you have it.

Check out the big brain on us then, hey?!

Sunday, 25 December 2011

New word for the day

'Chrimorse' pronounced kri-morssss

The unshakeable feeling of remorse upon realising the cost of Christmas and all the things one could and should have done instead. Eg. Purchase a Spin Bike to improve personal fitness or perhps a ticket to Utah to the Sundance Film Festival to enjoy some culture...oh, and to hang out with Ryan Gosling.

Darn you Chrimorse!

Saturday, 24 December 2011

'Twas the night before Christmas...

It's the night before Christmas,
And all is grouse.
We've wrapped up the presents,
We've tidied the house.

For Santa - he's a coming,
And he hasn't time to talk.
So many presents to deliver,
Why, the average man would balk!

So I've left him a wee message,
My chosen tool is chalk.
I hope he really likes it,
If not, Santa can take a walk...

On the wild side of course!

Merry Christmas and best wishes to all for a prosperous and joyous new year.

Much love,

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Things i've learned from Beyonce

Ah, Beyonce.

The average punter might say you've got it all...and they'd be right.

You're beautiful, talented, you've got smarts, you're seemingly delightful (we haven't met yet but I know it's destined), married to a talented gentleman, you enjoy all of life's spoils yet seem grounded, you don't cus, you have a clothing line with your Momma and swan about generally being amazing etc. etc.

You're cool. I get it.

However, the coolest thing about you (in my humble opinion) is that you consistently utilise (and you do it so well) my '3 Commandments' for a great music video and frankly, life in general.

You know what I mean...

1. Thou shalt use wind machines - wind machines make everything better

2. Thou shalt be an advocate of big hair - it's always 'in vogue'

3. Lycra - no explanation required. OK, if it ain't all that, why are ALL superhero costumes made of Lycra? Huh?!?

These elements are practically religion in your productions and for that I say 'Amen, little sister!' and ‘Hallelujah’ for bringing it to the people.

To give thanks, I've put together a little tribute, a dedication if you will, which demonstrates how effectively you've incorporated the '3 Commandments' into your work and why you are the supreme mistress of all things awesome. If you're reading this, grab Jay-Z and a cup of tea (hey, check my lyrical styling!) and enjoy.

'Dance for you' features a choreographed piece in front of not one, but a series of fans (the wind producing variety, not the ones that ask for your autograph). You really are living the dream girlfriend.

'Run the World' delights and excites ticking all '3 Commandment' boxes although if we're being honest, I'm not down with the stockings and suspenders. I know, I know. You like them. Just saying...

'Single Ladies' B, look at me...look at me...I have one word for you.

Perfectly coiffured quiff.

It is said, the reflection of a great artist is translating their talent from a studio to the stage and into their live performance. Ever the dedicated disciple of the commandments, you manage the wind machines, big hair and Lycra every single time. Bravo!

'Dejavu' Live in Las Vegas

'Sweet Dreams' B, the wind, the hair (love the rocking finger waves) the Lycra. You are, once again, fabulous. Do call me though. I can help you with some sweet 'Robot' moves...See for yourself. I'm the one in the orange.

See, I told you. I'm not one to brag however I’ve got pretty mad skills.

‘Crazy in Love’ It would be remiss of me not to include a snippet featuring your husband. Besides the pair of you being great collaborators, you manage to incorporate rain, wind and fire into this clip. I am lost for words.

Irreplaceable’ Regardless of your fame and fortune, you remain humble and happy for the world to see you in your rollers...and your sexy brassiere. Good for you.

Others have and will continue to imitate and emulate but you, my dear Beyonce, have it down like no other. Thanks for keeping it real...oh, and for the super fly eye candy you recruit for your clips.

Much love,

PS. If you're done with the vast array of 'onesies' you've sported over the years, please have them delivered to my home address. Thanks in advance.

Thursday, 8 December 2011

Mother Nature

It has been cold and raining in Brisbane town recently which is most unusual as temperatures in December usually sit at around 65 degrees with 2478% humidity and a reasonable proportion of the local population (yes, I've conducted an independent survey) is a little grumpy about the situation.

I admit, I am a lover of blue skies and glorious Summer days. In fact, I awoke this morning after a few days of grey skies and rain to be greeted by the sun's golden rays and found myself shouting 'Sunshine!!!' with the enthusiasm and vigour one can expect from the cast of Glee or the person holding the winning meat tray raffle ticket at the local RSL. Woo hoo!

People are declaring 'This weather is depressing!', 'It's a terrible day' and other such palava. I've often wondered why people refer to a cloudy, overcast or rainy day as 'terrible'. Ooh, it's raining, it's a terrible day. Really?

Poor old rain, it cops a lot of flack. So I'm going to wrap my arms around it and give it a big ol' hug. Figuratively of course. Have you tried hugging rain? I have, its challenging and only for the brave at heart, the clinically insane or a task for contestants on those wacky Japanese game shows. You know the ones...

I'm going to show my love through song and interpretive dance - the best way I know how.

So settle in and enjoy some ditties about rain. And remember, you can choose to blame it or choose to sing in it. I know which one I'll be doing.

Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo...

Singing in the Rain

It's Raining Men

Blame it on the Rain

November Rain

Here comes the rain again

Purple Rain

No Rain


Rain over me

Summer Rain

I wish it would rain

Raining Men

It Will Rain

Raindrops keep falling on my head

Tuesday, 6 December 2011

Further proof...

For those of you requiring evidence (shame on you) about the aforementioned scientific evidence - meet Lars, Head of Analysis and other important matters at
Tough Love Tamvakis HQ.

There, satisfied?

It's been proven!

Scientific evidence proves that Tough Love Tamvakis and a bowl of fibre is the best way to start the day. Ok, ok. Scrap the fibre but read the blog. It'll make you feel good.

Monday, 5 December 2011

Renegade household appliance attacks young Brisbane woman

I've decided to actively include meditation into my daily life. 

Its always been interesting to me and at times I've dabbled a little, however a full time commitment seemed like such a long and laborious process. Plus the expense of incense, soothing instrumental accompaniments and a new wardrobe based entirely on cheese cloth and Thai Fisherman's pants simply wasn't something I was ready to commit to. And until now, I really didn't want to factor an hour or more per day into my schedule to do it. You know, I'm busy and highly important. Yah, yah...

However, it dawned upon me that the people I know and speak with who meditate regularly seem to have their junk together. They seem relaxed. Besides, you can meditate for ten minutes or two hours the choice is up to the individual and according to the pros, you reap benefits either way.

So I figure, why not!

I've coupled the meditation practise with 'The Five Healing Tibetans' which is a form of yoga developed centuries ago by Tibetan monks and distilled into five precise exercises. It's rather nice (and very progressive) of those guys to condense things into a short and sweet little package for us busy, modern folk. Hmmm..Perhaps the practise gives you foresight?! I'll report back.

Anyhoo, the monks believed these postures to be the key to living a long vibrant and healthy life, among other benefits. That sounds good to me. After all, I have loads to do and see so 
I need time and energy on my side. 

Ok, I'm in.

I am currently enjoying Day 2 of my new found Zen and I have already had an astonishing breakthrough. I know. Amazing, right? Here it is.

I like to practise in the morning. It wakes my body up and energises me physically and mentally for the day. Today, I finished up and moved on to some mundane yet necessary domestic duties. For those of you who don't know, I have a RoboVac. You know...a robotic vacuum cleaner. It's the best invention EVER. At the push of a button it glides about, making my floorboards gleam while I get onto more important matters like braiding my hair and writing witty anecdotes.

Sadly, I occasionally retrieve my manual vacuum (ugh!) and run it over the rug as my RoboVac, (or Maria as I've fondly named the 'robot help') can't get into it in the same way. To my great surprise and horror, upon attempting to retrieve the manual vacuum from its hidey-hole it recoiled and the handle came at me like a Mumbai Dancing Street Cobra (you know the ones, they dance to music played on a recorder or small flute for money) and smacked me fair in the eye. Ouch.

Usually, there would have been profanity, followed by tears, more profanity, a cry of 'why me?' and more tears. Not today. I recognised that I was experiencing some shock, put my hand over my eye, took a few breaths, calmly walked myself to the freezer, retrieved a pack of frozen peas (Ah McCain, you've done it again!), wrapped them in a tea towel, placed the package over my eye and sat myself down. Cool, calm and collected. Wowza.

This may not seem like a big deal to most but for the girl that took out the 'Publicis Mojo - Best actress in a Creative Drama' award (impressive, I know), it's kind of a big deal.  

So, I'm going to keep this up and see where it leads me. If you're keen to check it out you can Goo-goo-ley and find it on the Interweb or if you're tactile like me, you can get the little handbook below.  

Meantime, remember. Renegade vacuum parts and other household items can attack at any time. Be alert. And feel free to adopt my new mantra 'Meditate, don't domesticate'. It may just save your life.