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Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Things i've learned from Beyonce

Ah, Beyonce.

The average punter might say you've got it all...and they'd be right.

You're beautiful, talented, you've got smarts, you're seemingly delightful (we haven't met yet but I know it's destined), married to a talented gentleman, you enjoy all of life's spoils yet seem grounded, you don't cus, you have a clothing line with your Momma and swan about generally being amazing etc. etc.

You're cool. I get it.

However, the coolest thing about you (in my humble opinion) is that you consistently utilise (and you do it so well) my '3 Commandments' for a great music video and frankly, life in general.

You know what I mean...

1. Thou shalt use wind machines - wind machines make everything better

2. Thou shalt be an advocate of big hair - it's always 'in vogue'

3. Lycra - no explanation required. OK, if it ain't all that, why are ALL superhero costumes made of Lycra? Huh?!?

These elements are practically religion in your productions and for that I say 'Amen, little sister!' and ‘Hallelujah’ for bringing it to the people.

To give thanks, I've put together a little tribute, a dedication if you will, which demonstrates how effectively you've incorporated the '3 Commandments' into your work and why you are the supreme mistress of all things awesome. If you're reading this, grab Jay-Z and a cup of tea (hey, check my lyrical styling!) and enjoy.

'Dance for you' features a choreographed piece in front of not one, but a series of fans (the wind producing variety, not the ones that ask for your autograph). You really are living the dream girlfriend.

'Run the World' delights and excites ticking all '3 Commandment' boxes although if we're being honest, I'm not down with the stockings and suspenders. I know, I know. You like them. Just saying...

'Single Ladies' B, look at me...look at me...I have one word for you.

Perfectly coiffured quiff.

It is said, the reflection of a great artist is translating their talent from a studio to the stage and into their live performance. Ever the dedicated disciple of the commandments, you manage the wind machines, big hair and Lycra every single time. Bravo!

'Dejavu' Live in Las Vegas

'Sweet Dreams' B, the wind, the hair (love the rocking finger waves) the Lycra. You are, once again, fabulous. Do call me though. I can help you with some sweet 'Robot' moves...See for yourself. I'm the one in the orange.

See, I told you. I'm not one to brag however I’ve got pretty mad skills.

‘Crazy in Love’ It would be remiss of me not to include a snippet featuring your husband. Besides the pair of you being great collaborators, you manage to incorporate rain, wind and fire into this clip. I am lost for words.

Irreplaceable’ Regardless of your fame and fortune, you remain humble and happy for the world to see you in your rollers...and your sexy brassiere. Good for you.

Others have and will continue to imitate and emulate but you, my dear Beyonce, have it down like no other. Thanks for keeping it real...oh, and for the super fly eye candy you recruit for your clips.

Much love,

PS. If you're done with the vast array of 'onesies' you've sported over the years, please have them delivered to my home address. Thanks in advance.

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