Looking for love in all the wrong places...

It's been too long between posts, I know. I've missed it, I've missed you and I'm sorry.
 
For those of you wondering why; well, I've been through a rough patch so I took some time to get real, get clear, and reset my compass. To take a really close look at myself and determine who I am, how I've been shaped, when and why I've conformed. To establish who and what is important, what drives me, what makes me crazy...just to be.
 
You see, much has changed for me in the past 12 months. Life seemingly spiralling out of control and playing out like a reality TV show with challenges, eliminations and lots of strategy to stay in the game. Oh, the pressure! It was exhausting and a real test. 
 
I'd NEVER survive Masterchef!
 
So after loads of time and energy spent squirrelling away to determine the cause of all this angst, you know what I discovered? Ultimately, the sole reason I lost my way came down to one shameful and shocking truth; I gave up on love. Loving myself, love for others, love for my passions, others loving me. The whole darn kit n' caboodle!
 
Gee whizz, typing these words makes my eyes well up with tears and my chest tighten up a little. I mean, love is at the core of everything I believe in, everything I stand for.
 
How did this happen?
 
Sure, I continued to embrace my truth and remained honest and kind at every juncture, yet couldn't understand why things weren't "going my way" or why I'd be dealing with all kinds of confrontation and altercations. You see, without the love, everything crumbled like a poorly built Croquembouche. I told you - I'd never go all the way on Masterchef.

It's interesting how easy it is to get lost in the past or obsess about the future and this experience has absolutely confirmed to me that all we need to be acutely aware of is the here and now while focusing on self love, for it will lead the way to vulnerability, truth, self expression and peace.

 
You heard it here first people - self love is the absolute foundation of a life well lived.
 
Ah-ha...It's all so clear now! Perhaps Masterchef isn't my game after all. With all this talk about foundations, it seems I'm better suited to The Block...
 
Loving you, loving me (and I really mean it)...TLT x
 

 

 

Things I reckon kids should learn...

You simply cannot understand it,
Until you have your own.
A little heir or heiress,
To aspire to your family throne.

A bundle of joy and radiant sun beams,
To brighten up each day.
Something you'd give your own life for,
To ensure they're safe at play.

It's true I'll wage, that the feelings are strong, 
But there is much to do.
Some things that may serve them well, 
Some suggestions* from me to you.

Show them love and kindness,
Teach them self respect.
How to demonstrate good manners,
And all about cause and effect.
How to tie their laces,
And how to prepare their lunch.
To have a sense of gratitude,
And to oft say; "Thanks a bunch".

Show them how to manage money, 
How to live their life with thrift.
Remind them that generosity,
Can be an almighty and rewarding gift.
To laugh and sing, to walk proud and tall,
To be open to life and to be prepared for a fall.
Hey, it happens every now and then, 
So dust yourself off, don't let it make you feel small.

Make it a priority to love yourself foremost and first,
Be kind to animals, pay heed to thirst.
Live your life like a grand adventure; rich and truly full,
Be upfront, call a spade a spade, and don't take any bull.

Surround yourself with a kind a loving few,
Some people you can trust.
Have faith, be kind and listen well,
Show compassion, that's a must.

Never underestimate the power of dreams,
Propelled by consistent action.
To thine self be true, rings very true, 
And brings great satisfaction.

For this may one day be your role.
So one last thing I'll say,
Respect the ones who've paved the road,
And always seize the day.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

 
* Although highly intelligent, I am not an expert in these matters. These are merely my ideas and opinions regardless of my being borderline genius and good at many things including fire twirling, singing, cooking and hugs. Yes, it should be noted that I am an EXTREMELY good hugger.

What being unceremoniously dumped after 20 years has taught me...

My friend of 20 years unceremoniously dumped me yesterday.

"It's not me, it's you", she said. 
"You've changed and I don't feel a part of your life anymore" she continued.
"I'm done pretending I matter to you" she concluded.

"Huh?!" was my reply.

Much like my man Snoop Dogg - she dropped it like it was hot.

Oh sure, I could tell something was up. 

The multiple (ignored) phone calls to which I'd reason "She's busy", at least she'll know I'm thinking of her and will call back when she can." After a time I resorted to sending random notes asking when we might catch up only to be denied any response. 

Zip, nadda, nothing.

I don't know exactly when this happened, nor when she started feeling this way. No bust up or altercation along the way gave me any clues. No communication from her to let me know how she was feeling. Just a single text (Urgh!) memo to advise we were through. This was the first and last indication that something was up and that our long and loving friendship was over.

Sheesh...and they call me Tough Love!

Now that all is said and done, I can only respect her wish to terminate our friendship. Rather than let a range of negative emotions overwhelm me, I've decided to reflect upon our friendship with fondness and love and to send her all the very best wishes and whatever her heart desires.

Meantime, I've looked for the lessons to be gained from this situation. Here are some things that have come up for me:

• Some people change, some stay the same. I want to evolve
• I am who I am - love me or leave me
• Pick up the phone or write a letter when saying goodbye
• Make an effort for the people you love - it's worth it

And should you be faced with a similar situation, shake your good thang to another Snoop Dogg tune and remember; I just want you to know that you are really special.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Tough Love Tamvakis-ism #09

Some days are better than others. 

 

Do your best to appreciate them equally.

 

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Life is beautiful...

It’s a glorious morning so I grab my breakfast and my indoor feline friends and venture out into the backyard to allow the sun’s rays rest on our bones.

 

After devouring my avocado and tomato on toast, I groom then proceed to shower my little fur balls with love. They purr back, eyes closed and tails gently swaying with the breeze.

When done, I slowly stroll around the garden paying attention to the sound of the wind rustling the leaves in the trees and the birds chirping. I stumble upon part of a hatched blue egg and wonder; “What creature was born from this?”

 

I’ve kept it to show my husband, the nature lover and aficionado in the event he can tell me. Perhaps I’ll never know. In any case, it’s beautiful so I photograph it.

I look over at the critters, they are savouring the sunshine.

 

I stand quietly. My mind free thought or expectation. Happy.

I spot a dragonfly on a fence post. I decide to slowly inch my way as close as it will allow me. Step by step, I make my way. As I approach what’s perhaps uncomfortably close for my bronze winged friend, it takes flight. I sigh in disappointment and think “I wish you’d stay.”

To my delight, it seems my new friend hears me, flying a short distance before returning to its perch.

I stand very still.

 

It turns its back to me. I gently bend to capture the beauty of the sun bouncing from its intricately designed wings. It willingly models for me. I smile and marvel at the beauty. Again, it flies away returning quickly and this time, giving me a glance at its stunning golden body.

Are you flirting little friend?

It’s as though with each moment passing, it understands I am quietly in awe so with one final launch my winged friend floats gently through the air and returns to its post, this time facing me head on; without fear.

 

Talk about putting on a show my little prehistoric descendant...Bravo!

 

I walk away, feeling humbled and grateful to receive these lovely gifts from nature.

I give thanks.

 

Life is beautiful.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

 

Tough Love Tamvakis-ism #08

 

Never underestimate your capabilities nor the possibilities.

 

 

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Trademarks and legacies...

Mr Peter Harvey, aged 68 died yesterday as a result of pancreatic cancer.

For those who have heard of him, Mr Harvey was a well known and respected Australian Journalist. I grew up watching his news reports and from a very early age understood he had what it took to capture an audience. His commanding presence, integrity and of course his voice; it was instantly recognisable and indeed his trademark.

This got me thinking. What is it about some people that they make an everlasting impact? Why is it they can work a room, attract a crowd or mesmerise? And furthermore what’s my (if I have one at all) trademark? Is there an aspect of my character or a physical attribute that is unmistakably me? Something that shouts, “I am Anna Tamvakis!”

Let’s see...well there’s always that little bump on my right upper thigh. My husband says if we’re ever in a dark room with a bunch of people (the circumstances surrounding how or why this type of identification would be required is a mystery however it’s comforting to know he’s got my back) and he has to recognise me, this is how. But surely it’s something a little more exotic than a mole?

According to the experts, we’re all genius and there’s a special something about each and every one of us that defines and makes us unique. So what’s your genius?

I’m going to lay the challenge out to you right here and now. Ask yourself, your friends and family to list three things that are unique to you. It may feel a little strange or uncomfortable but it won’t hurt a bit, I promise! Besides, it’s likely you’ll be surprised and delighted to hear what they have to say and it may help you find your je ne sais quoi. I did it a while back as part of an exercise prescribed by Marie Forleo (thanks Marie!) and I was dazzled and intrigued at the view of myself from another’s lens.

Speaking of, I’m sad that Mr Harvey won’t be coming at me down the barrel of a camera anytime soon. Aside from being a great journalist, he seemed like a really good bloke with a big heart and a zest for life. A seemingly serious man but by all other reports he was  often silly, fiercely intelligent, optimistic, never apologetic for who he was, a devoted family man and always willing for an adventure. He was my kind of guy.

Mr Harvey, your passing has helped me appreciate that I may not (now or ever) have a trademark but while I'm working on it, I can only aspire towards a legacy like yours. Here’s to you kind sir.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x