An open letter to the friend who asked me to run a marathon...

First up, good on YOU for gearing up for better health and fitness. Also, thank you for the invitation (and motivation) to join you on your quest to run a mighty marathon!

 

Wanna know something?

I see people running and I give them a mental fist bump and a quiet, ‘Right on!!'. I ponder the concept that I too could enjoy and be a regular runner. After all, you only need a good pair of shoes (and a reliable over the shoulder boulder holder) and you’re on your way. Cheap, easy, effective...I could have the heart and lungs of Phar Lap and the body of a Goddess in a few short weeks!

But the fact is, I’m not designed for running.

 

I’m slow and heavy...like an elephant - and I don’t mean that in a self deprecating way. I think I’m tops! Fact is, I’ve seen elderly women and small children walk faster than I do. Seriously, how? Their legs are SO much shorter than mine.

So, if you need someone to cruise along beside you in a support vehicle bellowing words of encouragement down a megaphone (I have one!) – I’M YOUR GIRL. Otherwise, I’ll see you on the yoga mat for a post run stretch sometime soon.

 

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Culinary Lavender and Iranian Saffron

On a recent visit, a friend excitedly presented me with a bag of culinary lavender and some saffron. 

“It's all the way from Iran!” she cooed. 

I attempted to feign enthusiasm and graciousness (it is nice to be thought of, I tell myself) and believe I pulled it off in light of the fact that none of these items was something I could devour immediately – like a lasagna, Italian gelato or a hot roast chicken.

My Oscar award winning performance can also be attributed to the fact that she presented me with a block of remarkably good dark chocolate soon after. 

“Now you’re talking!” I declare.

I too was once like her. Free of responsibility and blissfully unaware of the secret fantasies harboured by parents everywhere. Indeed, I’ve showered friends with what I considered thoughtful and useful (I know better now) gifts which in hindsight would have been rendered useless.

But when you don’t have kids, you simply don’t know.

I currently live a rich fantasy life in which people bring me my favourite foods (frequently) and offer to play with my kid while I shampoo my hair. You know, with both eyes closed as the warm water rinses the suds from my scalp and down the drain without feeling like I’m on one of those Japanese game shows where the contestants have to keep one eye open to avoid being slapped across the face by multiple incoming catfish while shaving cream is being sprayed into their eye sockets. 

That's not asking too much, right? 

I admit - the culinary lavender does smell gorgeous. However at this point in my life, rather than make it to the dinner table, I think it’ll go into a pretty bag and into my underwear drawer.

I’ll smell good enough to eat. Now you’re talking! 

Loving you, loving me...TLT x 

ANTS vs. BIG CATS - a clash of the Titans

Ever taken a moment to observe Ants?

I have, and they’re seemingly always on the run. In fact from what I can tell, they’re never still. Even when they hit the jackpot and land a giant feast of hamburger bun crumbs, they run about all over and around them or scurry them along to a different location.

Hey, little guy! What’s the rush and where are you going? Do you have somewhere to be, or so wired up you’re merely running around in circles?

Meanwhile, other species take their sweet time yet manage to fit in all of life’s essentials. A classic example, the Big Cats.

These guys sleep much of the day and still find time to hunt, eat, bathe, play, groom, and get physical - and by physical, I mean sexy time and they do this A WHOLE LOT.

Yes ma'am, they make time for it all and maintain their place in the hierarchy of the wild. Never doubtful, without compromise and always proud. And although I’m no Doctor Doolittle and can’t categorically confirm it, they seem all the happier for it.

So – are you an Ant or are you a Big Cat? Are you rushing at life and neglecting to take a moment or two to consider what’s fundamentally and authentically good for you?

How much sleep do I want/need?

Who are the people/what are the issues that matter?

Am I taking care of my well being – mental, physical, spiritual, financial and dietary?

Do I make time for friends, my family and play?

Do I hunt down my happiness like a lion does their prey?

I encourage you to consider yourself, what makes you tick and what feels good to and for YOU then go about doing it unabashedly and without apologies. Grrraaaowww...release your inner beast! 

Start thinking and behaving like the Big Cat and assume attack modality then gently, quietly, strategically, move towards your desires before pouncing on them with enthusiastic vigour.

Go on then - make some love, have a feed and take a nap.

Heck, these big boys have proved that there's always time.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

 

 

 

Wise women say...

Wise women say...

You say risky, I say risque...

While enjoying breakfast this morning, my love and I briefly discuss the impending birth of our baby. With only 35 days to go - this shit is getting real, real fast.

I like to keep him informed about how I'm preparing myself mentally and physically and afford him the opportunity to ask questions and feel like he's in the game as opposed to on the bench. He always listens attentively and imparts his dose of wisdom, support and encouragement accordingly. What can I tell you - I've got me a good egg.

Now my lover-love is likes to make up his own lyrics to songs and muddles up sayings (that crazy cat!) and I often find myself giggling wildly before kindly sharing the actual words or lyrics to which he usually smiles and says "I like the way I sing/say it better". Fair enough.

Thing is today's little pearler of muddled up madness was a beauty and left me thinking about it long after we'd left the breakfast table.

After listening to my comments about the birth process and my reminder that I'm keen to do this with as little medical intervention as possible, do my utmost to stay active during the birth, go easy on any drugs and deliver the baby from my Yoni (or rather - my "Jay-Jay", my "Pooni" or for fans of Role Models - my "Whispering Eye"), he comes out with this.

HIM: "Well, I hear what you're saying about medical intervention and I respect that however it's good to know it's available to us if we need it (and here comes the pearler), but honey you need to remember that childbirth is climbing Mt Everest - it's very risqué."

ME: "Oh, my! (Big grin) Who knew climbing the Earth's highest mountain could be so raunchy! Do you mean risky?"

HIM: "Oh yeah, risky. But it's ok because we're going to get through it just fine."

I told you, good egg. Wacky, AND good.

Thing is, long after it was over I found myself thinking more about our conversation. Yes, childbirth is a risky business (cue music here and think Tom Cruise in his whities and Ray Bans sliding across those wooden floorboards - sorry, couldn't resist) but we're fortunate to have plenty of support should it be required.

Equally childbirth can be risqué business in that it's described by many as to it's very definition in being daringly close to indelicacy or impropriety and containing material that includes nudity, near nudity and if you've ever stumbled across the documentary "Orgasmic Birth" (get over to You Tube and check out the trailer if you're curious - yah, I know you're curious), sensual and sexual acts. 

So it seems my wacky egg had a point after all. I figure he's absolutely right in that there's more than one way to skin a cat depending on your willingness to look at things from a different perspective and although he'd be inclined to say something about the hair on the cat sticking to our mat, between you and me - that's just the way I like it.


Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Roll up, roll up! The circus is in town...

Get your popcorn and take a seat, it's federal election time in Australia!

This weekend, we have the democratic freedom (a valuable privilege) and obligation to have our say in who wins the race to take government and lead our people to (ideally) lofty new heights.

During the campaign activity, I've paid attention to the voice of the politicians, the media and the greater population, finding it to be a source of interest and at times, bewilderment. To me it appears the recurring theme from the masses is simple - a vast majority have taken to the podium and are shouting "What's in it for me?!?"

Political agendas aside, it's got me thinking about the complexities of humanity. Our values, choices, the importance (or lack thereof) of popularity, vision, greed, suffering, giving and receiving - has "What's in it for me?" become the natural or preferred state of human condition? Is having our every desire met without taking a holistic view at the world and the people around us what we expect and worse still (in my view), really what drives us?

Call me crazy (you wouldn't be the first), but I'm proposing we focus a little less on "me" and a little more on "we" in order to restore some fundamental human privileges and freedoms like love and care for self and others, helping others in need and serving a protecting.

I'm absolutely certain we'll reap outstanding rewards on an individual and societal level when we bring the focus back to ourselves (I'm talking compassion and kindness rather than the "What's in it for me" mentality) and one another thus allowing room to develop vision and hope for a brighter future.

It's ok if you don't, but I hope you agree and join me in taking a moment to think about how you might incorporate my proposal into your every day. If you do, I'd love to hear about your experience over on Facebook or in the comments below.

On that note, I'll refer to (and slightly amend) a passage from old mate Abe Lincoln's Gettysburg Address, and hope that this cosmos and the people within it shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government (political, moral, spiritual and otherwise), and true democracy of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Right on my brother, right on.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Ay Chihuahua...It's Flamenco Friday!

Oh, just get over it!

Get over it!
Let it go!
Suck it up!

Every day, people everywhere are telling themselves and others to take heed of one of the above, or variations thereof, in order to "get on with things" and this, like the Eurythmics classic, sits like a thorn in my side.

Somehow we've arrived at a point where we can barely muster the energy to demonstrate care or consideration for our own challenges let alone the plight of others.

It bugs me. So, I'm proposing a new world order.

I'm choosing to pluck that thorn from my side and letting things heal naturally. I'm saying that it's a-ok to take stock of what's happened, process it, establish our own thoughts and feelings about things then take the next step in finding our happy place - in our own sweet time. Be it starting something, ending something, tackling things with a new perspective, setting new boundaries or otherwise.

No one person or circumstance is the same. We all perceive and feel things differently and it's presumptuous and unfair to impose that lack of kindness or consideration upon anyone - including (and often most importantly), ourselves.

Now I ain't saying hold on to every bit of pain and turmoil - quite the contrary in fact.

I think a nice way to sum it up is sharing a line from the Woody Allen film, Blue Jasmine - P.S Cate Blanchett's performance was superb.  

"Some people don't get over things as quick as others."

I related with, and absolutely respect this and believe the world would be a better place if others gave it a shot too.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Quote of the day...

My aunty says in thick Greek accent; "If people cross the line, they must wear the contact lenses."

 

 

Ah, consequences.

She meant consequences.

 

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

 

 

An angel in sequined bikinis saved my patooty...

I love a wee road trip, particularly when in good company.

Recently I summonsed a couple of girlfriends for a day of sunshine and good times on the beautiful Gold Coast. Off we went on our one day adventure armed with high spirits and Disco beats a plenty. Yah, that's how we roll.

In what seemed like the blink of an eye (time flies when you're having fun) we arrived at our first stop - Surfers Paradise.

We feed the meter (nobody likes a nasty parking fine) then make our way to Pita Pan to feed ourselves. Whilst devouring a Chicken Gyros with special secret sauce, my friend is inspired and declares; "Today, I'll buy some sunglasses".

Toot Toot...all aboard the retail therapy train and quest to find the perfect pair.

After trying on possibly every pair in the store (not kidding) bar a handful, we agree. It was at that time I realised our parking would expire in a matter of minutes and we had a bit of a walk back to the car. Oh no! The reality of a parking fine hit me (I told you, nobody likes a nasty parking fine) so we shuffled back quickly, cracking funnies and all the while hoping for the best.

Along the way, we saw a Gold Coast Meter Maid collecting donations and posing for photos with tourists. She was an attractive girl wearing a gold sequined bikini, high heels, cowgirl hat and a cheerful disposition. Perhaps it was a combination of our carefree abandon, the scent of the ocean, the crisp blue skies and the delicious sunshine...I'm not certain. But for a moment; we too felt like tourists so we asked the lovely lady for a photo, dropped a donation in her little can and rushed along the Esplanade to the car.

But alas, on arrival my heart sunk a little as I stared at the small piece of paper waving in the Winter wind like a Matador teasing a bull with his red cloth. I charged towards it and cried; "We've got a ticket!". But wait, like a slow motion scene from an action movie, my friend Seinfeld ('cause she's always wearing sneakers) runs past me, grabs it and shouts; "Nooooooo! It's not a ticket. We've been saved by the Meter Maid!"

Well, how do you like them apples?

The lady we'd stopped and donated some money to had dropped some extra money in the meter, afforded us an extra fifteen minutes of parking and saved my patooty BIG time.

The moral of the story; Angels really do walk amongst us and I'm so pleased we got a picture with this one as a constant reminder.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

 

 

PS. LOVE the new sunnies Seinfeld...

 

Hold steady...

 

 

Looking for love in all the wrong places...

It's been too long between posts, I know. I've missed it, I've missed you and I'm sorry.
 
For those of you wondering why; well, I've been through a rough patch so I took some time to get real, get clear, and reset my compass. To take a really close look at myself and determine who I am, how I've been shaped, when and why I've conformed. To establish who and what is important, what drives me, what makes me crazy...just to be.
 
You see, much has changed for me in the past 12 months. Life seemingly spiralling out of control and playing out like a reality TV show with challenges, eliminations and lots of strategy to stay in the game. Oh, the pressure! It was exhausting and a real test. 
 
I'd NEVER survive Masterchef!
 
So after loads of time and energy spent squirrelling away to determine the cause of all this angst, you know what I discovered? Ultimately, the sole reason I lost my way came down to one shameful and shocking truth; I gave up on love. Loving myself, love for others, love for my passions, others loving me. The whole darn kit n' caboodle!
 
Gee whizz, typing these words makes my eyes well up with tears and my chest tighten up a little. I mean, love is at the core of everything I believe in, everything I stand for.
 
How did this happen?
 
Sure, I continued to embrace my truth and remained honest and kind at every juncture, yet couldn't understand why things weren't "going my way" or why I'd be dealing with all kinds of confrontation and altercations. You see, without the love, everything crumbled like a poorly built Croquembouche. I told you - I'd never go all the way on Masterchef.

It's interesting how easy it is to get lost in the past or obsess about the future and this experience has absolutely confirmed to me that all we need to be acutely aware of is the here and now while focusing on self love, for it will lead the way to vulnerability, truth, self expression and peace.

 
You heard it here first people - self love is the absolute foundation of a life well lived.
 
Ah-ha...It's all so clear now! Perhaps Masterchef isn't my game after all. With all this talk about foundations, it seems I'm better suited to The Block...
 
Loving you, loving me (and I really mean it)...TLT x
 

 

 

Things I reckon kids should learn...

You simply cannot understand it,
Until you have your own.
A little heir or heiress,
To aspire to your family throne.

A bundle of joy and radiant sun beams,
To brighten up each day.
Something you'd give your own life for,
To ensure they're safe at play.

It's true I'll wage, that the feelings are strong, 
But there is much to do.
Some things that may serve them well, 
Some suggestions* from me to you.

Show them love and kindness,
Teach them self respect.
How to demonstrate good manners,
And all about cause and effect.
How to tie their laces,
And how to prepare their lunch.
To have a sense of gratitude,
And to oft say; "Thanks a bunch".

Show them how to manage money, 
How to live their life with thrift.
Remind them that generosity,
Can be an almighty and rewarding gift.
To laugh and sing, to walk proud and tall,
To be open to life and to be prepared for a fall.
Hey, it happens every now and then, 
So dust yourself off, don't let it make you feel small.

Make it a priority to love yourself foremost and first,
Be kind to animals, pay heed to thirst.
Live your life like a grand adventure; rich and truly full,
Be upfront, call a spade a spade, and don't take any bull.

Surround yourself with a kind a loving few,
Some people you can trust.
Have faith, be kind and listen well,
Show compassion, that's a must.

Never underestimate the power of dreams,
Propelled by consistent action.
To thine self be true, rings very true, 
And brings great satisfaction.

For this may one day be your role.
So one last thing I'll say,
Respect the ones who've paved the road,
And always seize the day.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

 
* Although highly intelligent, I am not an expert in these matters. These are merely my ideas and opinions regardless of my being borderline genius and good at many things including fire twirling, singing, cooking and hugs. Yes, it should be noted that I am an EXTREMELY good hugger.

What being unceremoniously dumped after 20 years has taught me...

My friend of 20 years unceremoniously dumped me yesterday.

"It's not me, it's you", she said. 
"You've changed and I don't feel a part of your life anymore" she continued.
"I'm done pretending I matter to you" she concluded.

"Huh?!" was my reply.

Much like my man Snoop Dogg - she dropped it like it was hot.

Oh sure, I could tell something was up. 

The multiple (ignored) phone calls to which I'd reason "She's busy", at least she'll know I'm thinking of her and will call back when she can." After a time I resorted to sending random notes asking when we might catch up only to be denied any response. 

Zip, nadda, nothing.

I don't know exactly when this happened, nor when she started feeling this way. No bust up or altercation along the way gave me any clues. No communication from her to let me know how she was feeling. Just a single text (Urgh!) memo to advise we were through. This was the first and last indication that something was up and that our long and loving friendship was over.

Sheesh...and they call me Tough Love!

Now that all is said and done, I can only respect her wish to terminate our friendship. Rather than let a range of negative emotions overwhelm me, I've decided to reflect upon our friendship with fondness and love and to send her all the very best wishes and whatever her heart desires.

Meantime, I've looked for the lessons to be gained from this situation. Here are some things that have come up for me:

• Some people change, some stay the same. I want to evolve
• I am who I am - love me or leave me
• Pick up the phone or write a letter when saying goodbye
• Make an effort for the people you love - it's worth it

And should you be faced with a similar situation, shake your good thang to another Snoop Dogg tune and remember; I just want you to know that you are really special.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Tough Love Tamvakis-ism #09

Some days are better than others. 

 

Do your best to appreciate them equally.

 

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Life is beautiful...

It’s a glorious morning so I grab my breakfast and my indoor feline friends and venture out into the backyard to allow the sun’s rays rest on our bones.

 

After devouring my avocado and tomato on toast, I groom then proceed to shower my little fur balls with love. They purr back, eyes closed and tails gently swaying with the breeze.

When done, I slowly stroll around the garden paying attention to the sound of the wind rustling the leaves in the trees and the birds chirping. I stumble upon part of a hatched blue egg and wonder; “What creature was born from this?”

 

I’ve kept it to show my husband, the nature lover and aficionado in the event he can tell me. Perhaps I’ll never know. In any case, it’s beautiful so I photograph it.

I look over at the critters, they are savouring the sunshine.

 

I stand quietly. My mind free thought or expectation. Happy.

I spot a dragonfly on a fence post. I decide to slowly inch my way as close as it will allow me. Step by step, I make my way. As I approach what’s perhaps uncomfortably close for my bronze winged friend, it takes flight. I sigh in disappointment and think “I wish you’d stay.”

To my delight, it seems my new friend hears me, flying a short distance before returning to its perch.

I stand very still.

 

It turns its back to me. I gently bend to capture the beauty of the sun bouncing from its intricately designed wings. It willingly models for me. I smile and marvel at the beauty. Again, it flies away returning quickly and this time, giving me a glance at its stunning golden body.

Are you flirting little friend?

It’s as though with each moment passing, it understands I am quietly in awe so with one final launch my winged friend floats gently through the air and returns to its post, this time facing me head on; without fear.

 

Talk about putting on a show my little prehistoric descendant...Bravo!

 

I walk away, feeling humbled and grateful to receive these lovely gifts from nature.

I give thanks.

 

Life is beautiful.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

 

Tough Love Tamvakis-ism #08

 

Never underestimate your capabilities nor the possibilities.

 

 

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

Trademarks and legacies...

Mr Peter Harvey, aged 68 died yesterday as a result of pancreatic cancer.

For those who have heard of him, Mr Harvey was a well known and respected Australian Journalist. I grew up watching his news reports and from a very early age understood he had what it took to capture an audience. His commanding presence, integrity and of course his voice; it was instantly recognisable and indeed his trademark.

This got me thinking. What is it about some people that they make an everlasting impact? Why is it they can work a room, attract a crowd or mesmerise? And furthermore what’s my (if I have one at all) trademark? Is there an aspect of my character or a physical attribute that is unmistakably me? Something that shouts, “I am Anna Tamvakis!”

Let’s see...well there’s always that little bump on my right upper thigh. My husband says if we’re ever in a dark room with a bunch of people (the circumstances surrounding how or why this type of identification would be required is a mystery however it’s comforting to know he’s got my back) and he has to recognise me, this is how. But surely it’s something a little more exotic than a mole?

According to the experts, we’re all genius and there’s a special something about each and every one of us that defines and makes us unique. So what’s your genius?

I’m going to lay the challenge out to you right here and now. Ask yourself, your friends and family to list three things that are unique to you. It may feel a little strange or uncomfortable but it won’t hurt a bit, I promise! Besides, it’s likely you’ll be surprised and delighted to hear what they have to say and it may help you find your je ne sais quoi. I did it a while back as part of an exercise prescribed by Marie Forleo (thanks Marie!) and I was dazzled and intrigued at the view of myself from another’s lens.

Speaking of, I’m sad that Mr Harvey won’t be coming at me down the barrel of a camera anytime soon. Aside from being a great journalist, he seemed like a really good bloke with a big heart and a zest for life. A seemingly serious man but by all other reports he was  often silly, fiercely intelligent, optimistic, never apologetic for who he was, a devoted family man and always willing for an adventure. He was my kind of guy.

Mr Harvey, your passing has helped me appreciate that I may not (now or ever) have a trademark but while I'm working on it, I can only aspire towards a legacy like yours. Here’s to you kind sir.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x

 

 

 

How 27 days can change things...

It's the eve of the last day of the month, and Free Your Mind February draws to a close.
As a parting gift, I want to share some of the learnings about myself, others and life in general that have come about in the past 27 days.

• Writing is my poison
• The guitar is a difficult instrument to master  
• It’s OK to pursue wacky, off the wall dreams
• Preparing delicious food is good therapy 
• It’s OK to take it easy
• Giving gratitude is a very rewarding practise  
• Ice cream is my kryptonite
• It’s important to put yourself first
• Love is all around
• Fresh flowers are the mack daddy
• You get what you give
• There are many wonderful people who support and believe in me
• Don’t be so hard on yourself
• Pay attention to what brings you joy and do it as often as possible
• Create a work space that stimulates and inspires
• Spend time with people who elevate your senses
• I love a calm and peaceful life
• Honesty is the best policy
• Kindness is one of the greatest gifts you can give and receive
• Less is more
• Most of the general population want to feel important and loved
• Dance to the beat of your own drum and invite others to join you
• Laughter is indeed good for the soul
• Everything is going to be OK
• Treat your inner circle like treasure
• Two important ingredients for an inspired life are heart and guts

• Love is the drug for me

It's been a fun project that's opened my mind to wonderful possibilities. I'm proud to have done it and all who came along with me, I hope you've enjoyed it too. Feel free to share any and all of your revelations in the past 27 days. I'd love to hear from you.

Loving you, loving me...TLT x